Well, here I am, at 41, trying again, trying to find my Inner-Skinny, the me that is buried somewhere deep inside. And this time i'm trying something new...I'm trying to find the positive in my life, not focus on the negative. So, the first positive thing that comes to mind is "I haven't given up". It's been a rocky road, I've tried so many different diets and exercise programs, tried to eat healthy and work out...and it wasn't all bad. I've had my share of short-term successes. But for some reason, I just couldn't stick to them. I've tried to view them as lifestyle changes, tried to make them habit, but to no avail. So many of us have been there, have had our ups and downs, our successes and failures. I guess what I'm trying to figure out, what we are all trying to figure out, is to find what works for us. We're all individuals, what works for one doesn't neccessarily work for others. But I'm going to give it my all and try try again!
I've read some pretty amazing blogs on weight loss, have read some things that made me think to myself "oh my god, that's totally me! It's what I think, what I feel!". And let me tell you, it made me feel so good to know that I'm not alone. For the most part, I've always tried to lose weight and get healthy on my own. I knew what I had to do to make this happen, and I convinced myself over an over that if I just had enough willpower, if I was just a stronger person, I could do this. Well, guess what? I DO have willpower! I know this. If I didn't have willpower, I wouldn't have been able to quit smoking almost 4 years ago! It made me realize there was alot more to losing weight than just willpower. It's about choices that you make every day of your life. It's about what you put in your mouth, how much you put in your mouth and how often you get up and move. It's about making conscious decisions every minute of every day. My hope is that I will get to the point that making these choices is second nature, and not something that I have to force myself to do. And I think that a good start with that will be to do something different...and that would be to ask for help. I have family and friends who are supportive, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate every last one of them, but some days I need more than just an encouraging word. I need some people who will give me a big ole kick in the behind to keep me focused! I need to get out there and start doing!
I've read some great words of advice from alot of people, and the first piece of advice I'm going to take is to do one thing, and do it every day, and see if I can't make that into a habit, a good one for a change! So my "one thing" will be walking/running for 30 minutes a day. I was reading one of the blogs I follow, Fat Girl Dives In, and she talked about starting the Couch to 5k program. I googled it, thought it sounded like something I could do, and last week I began the program. It involves running/walking 3 days a week. Each week they increase the ratio of running, and the end result is that after 9 weeks you will be able to run for 5k or 30 minutes, depending on your pace. I'm in week 2, and i'm having a bit of a problem with shin-splints, but i'm pushing through the pain, and just trying to ensure I do alot of stretching before and after the run. Since you're only supposed to do the run/walk 3 times a week, I figure I will walk the other days of the week. I'm fortunate enough to have a treadmill at home, so that is absolutely something I can do every day.
So for now, one step at a time. I'm going to focus on moving my body. Not to say that i'm not trying to make healthy choices where my eating is concerned, but i'm not going to put too much focus on that just yet. If I make some poor choices in the next little while, for once in my life I'm going to do my best to not beat myself up! I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and say "it's okay...tomorrow's another day!".