Love my blog family :-)

I'm down another 1 1/2 lbs! Yeah!!

I have to say that this is one of the best things i've done to help facilitate a change in my life...starting a blog i mean. I have never found the level of inspiration i get from reading all of your blogs. And the support i get...wow! When i'm trying to figure things out, and i'm struggling, i turn to you, and i get some pretty amazing support and advice. When i was feeling frustrated, as per my last post, it did me wonders knowing that others have been where i am, and understand what i'm going through. And the positive encouragement helps me more than you know. So a big THANK YOU!!!!

This past weekend i went up island to visit some family. I made sure i did my run Friday before i left, and ran for my 25 minutes :-) Very hard, struggled, but made it through. Then i didn't work out Saturday or Sunday. But, i managed to stay on track food-wise, even at the bbq for my cousin's birthday on Sunday. Said NO to the cake and chips and dip! Granted, i had a hamburger, one cookie and some fruit. I think i did really good though!

Had a nice visit with my cousins, who i don't get to see very often, and made some plans to go up for a visit sometime this summer. Unfortunately though, we got some bad news too. We found out that my aunt, who is my mom's last surviving sibling (out of 9) has lung cancer. Its inoperable. :-( I feel sad for her, but i feel more sad for my mom. She was the second youngest and has had to watch all her siblings pass away. My parents aren't the "touchy feely type", they have a hard time expressing their emotions. I gave her a hug, but that's all i could do. My parents don't hug, they don't say "i love you", though i know they love me, they just have a hard time saying it. Maybe that's why my sister and i are extremely emotional people, we hug, we say I love you all the time to each other. I just wish there was something i could do for her, but there isn't.

I came home Sunday night, feeling tired and pretty down. I wasn't up to doing much of anything. I guess we all have those days. I worked some OT on Monday for a few hours, and then came home and worked out. Started week 7 of C25k, ran for another 25 minutes, and i have to say it was easier than it was on Friday, thank god!

I'm going to jump on my treadmill shortly, just walking while i watch some TV, but at least i'm moving. Gonna watch Losing it with Jillian tonight. That always gives me that kick in the butt i need.

Til next time!
S :-)

Wow!

I did it! I managed to run for 25 minutes without stopping! It wasn't easy though. I had to keep trying to find my focus and convince myself to keep running. I started getting anxious about it, that happens sometimes, where i get a tight feeling in my chest and feel like crying! It's the craziest feeling!

So, you would think i would be over the moon about accomplishing this. And i am proud of myself, but then something overshadowed it, which in retrospect is completely ridiculous. I looked at how far i ran in 25 minutes, and i only ran 1.68 miles. It completely deflated me. I realize i run on the slow side, i'm a beginner. And my plan is to start increasing my speed once i can run for 30 minutes straight. I only run at a 4.0 on the treadmill. But i seriously thought i was running farther than that. My goal is to run a 5k at the beginning of October, and i'll have to practically double what i'm doing now to run the whole thing!

Is this normal? What i mean is, i should be so happy at what i've accomplished so far, and take each small victory as they come. But instead, i get happy for a milisecond and then beat myself up for not doing better. I guess i want to know if other people react like this. Is this a normal part of trying to better your life and get fit?

I just hope that i get to the point in my life where i can honestly accept and be happy about the small things, and let all the other baggage go.

S :-)

Keeping it real

This week has been good, i've been doing my exercising, eating well...and today i treated myself...and the best part is i didn't go nuts and eat everything in sight! What i mean is, sometimes when i would eat something that i know isn't good for me, i would feel guilty, like i let myself down. And then this would usually lead to a binge, or at least a day of bad eating. But today, i had a cookie for a snack, i had sushi for lunch (which wasn't bad but probably ate more than i normally do) and had an ice cream cone in the afternoon. I realize that this isn't my best eating day ever...but i also realize that i'm allowed to indulge once in a while. I was over in my calories today, but not by much. I ate it, i enjoyed it, and i didn't feel guilty. I also told myself that this isn't something i'm going to do every day, but it's okay. That's a huge breakthrough for me. Maybe i'm finally starting to figure some things out. This is a good thing! :-)

I'm taking off to visit my family this weekend. I'll make sure i get a good run in before i leave, it will be the final day of week 6 of C25k and i have to run for 25 minutes!! Yikes!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!
S :-)

Staying on track!

So far so good! I'm down another 1 1/2 lbs!

My eating has been pretty good, trying to keep it between 1200 and 1400 calories. It gives me a good amount of food which seems to sustain me until the next meal. If i can't hold out i have a snack... i just make sure i have a piece of fruit, or some yogourt, or plain almonds. Sometimes a cup of tea or coffee does the trick too.

My exercising is going well, i'm into week 6 of C25k. And i'm going to sign up tomorrow for the CIBC Run for the Cure on October 3, my first 5k. One of my co-workers, who is a runner, has offered to run with me, to keep me motivated and push me if i need it. Kind of scary, but in a good way! It's for a great cause, i've lost relatives to breast cancer and i have a friend who is my age who had a double mastectomy last year. Running this 5k is the LEAST i can do!!

Have a good night everyone!
S :-)

A Great Day!

I started yesterday on the right foot...i completed week 5 of C25k with a 20 minute run!! I can't believe i ran for 20 minutes! I'm still stunned that i was able to do it! God it felt so good! I played some wicked upbeat music and just tuned out. I'm really proud of myself!

Then i spent the day being a tourist in my own town with a friend and her daughter. We went to a fabulous market they have every weekend, went out to Sidney by the sea and walked the boardwalk and then ended the day by going to the Observatory and checking out all the neat planetary stuff and the huge telescope they have out there. Pretty funny that i've lived here for approximately 19 years and i've never done that before!

Hope all my American friends have a wonderful Independence Day!

S :-)

Hit a minor speed bump

Had an off day yesterday. Didn't work out, didn't eat great...not sure why. I wasn't having a bad day, didn't feel out of control, wasn't upset about anything...i just didn't feel like working out and i made some poor food choices. I felt like crap afterwards, which is to be expected. It was just wierd, i don't know why i did it. And that kind of freaks me out a little. If i was upset and emotional eating i could understand that, but to just do it without even thinking, well, that is falling back into my old patterns and i don't like that. Mindless eating and no exercising. I know it's only one day, and i've started my day today with a good healthy meal and i know i am going to do my exercising in a short while. I'm not freaking out about it, but i guess it's something i will have to watch. I'm proud of what i have accomplished so far, and i'm going to keep striving to live the life i want.

I DIDN'T BALLOON IN JUNE!!

YEAH!! I managed to do my 1 hour workouts 6 times a week for the whole month of June! I completed Chris's "I will not balloon in June" challenge and i feel fabulous!! I managed to lose 7 lbs!

I had been working out 6 days a week prior to June, but not always for 1 hour a day, sometimes it was only for a 1/2 hour. But this feels like the perfect amount of exercise my body needs and i'm going to keep it up. I'll continue Chris's unofficial challenge and call it "I will Fly in July!" (since i actually WILL be flying out east on July 31st...and i want to "fly" figuratively too!)

I am doing week 5 of C25k, and the second day of running i had to run for 8 minutes, walk for 5 and run for another 8. Again, i convinced myself that if it was too much for me that i would run the first 8 minutes and then only run for 5 minutes if it was too much. Well, wasn't i surprised when i ran the first 8 and realized it wasn't that hard!! I was shocked! I know the whole idea behind the C25k is to get people running gradually, but i guess i underestimated myself and honestly thought i couldn't do it at the pace they set. That i would have to make changes and that it would take me a lot longer to do it. I really surprised myself. And another thing...i felt PRIDE at what i accomplished! I haven't felt that in a long time! As i was doing a cooldown on my treadmill, i had a big grin on my face! I did this. On my own. I did this...and i feel so empowered!! Now someone please remind me of this feeling when i have to run the last set of the week...which is a run for 20 minutes!!

So, all is going well in my world. I still have my moments where i'm waiting for the bottom to fall out from under me, it's what i expect. But so far so good, and i hope if i do hit a hurdle, a crisis, or if i'm just feeling plain unmotivated, that you all would be so kind as to give me a shake! Remind me why i am doing this! And I promise i will do my best to return the favour!

Happy Canada Day everyone!
S :-)